Monday, August 23, 2010
Only Assholes Cut Their Own Hair!!!
Hey y'all...Phil Larry Potter, here! If you happen to cut your own hair and it comes out okay, you're still an asshole! Pay the $12 and go to Pro Sluts and enjoy getting your scalp buried in nasty bosoms. I was trimming my nose hairs this morning and got to thinking about Flowbee! Yeah, what geniuses at Flowbee Corp! They convinced every coal miner and cheapskate to hook a robot scissor to your Hoover! Holy shit! Genius.
Look at this goofy fuck! You know, I can't give limo drivers shit, they gotta look good too, plus, I get my toot from a limo driver. Aldo Coctosen...helluva driver and when he drops off your toot, he throws in a hoagie and Sprite! Back to the haircuts...the assholes that bought a flowbee are the same assholes who wear their clothes in the shower to wash them! Instead of buying a pack of cancer sticks, go downtown and find a kindly, old Italian or Portuguese barber, just get there before 5A.M....otherwise you'll be waiting for an hour. My biggest fear was that flowbee would eat me!
In the end, I can see some clueless joe getting one because they don't know any better and they post a lot on Hisstank.com, but dames buying these???? Maybe if you're going for the unkempt look??? I don't know. I prefer ladies with short, post-chemo locks. No hair, no fuss!
Serves her right! Good writtens!
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True story. My mom got a flowbee.
ReplyDeleteThe only outcome.... everybody loses.
Everybody loses anyway, since we all die. Shit, Flowbee is a just metaphor for human mortality.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Phil knows the score. If a chick doesn't look good bald, then she's an ugly chick no matter how much you guzzy her up, make her get a brazilian wax every week and convince her to get a boob job.