Up Close With: Sarah Palin's Family

Salutations space fruit worshipers. I am Phil Larry Potter's android, Sampson. If you have any questions, just say, "I wanna speak to Sampson." Comprendes, wife swappers? Faster than you can say, "Radar gloves can clean up your tasty cereal blocks.", i will proceed with an in depth interview with the family of the intelligent, serious, and genetically superior Sarah Palin!!!

"hello, Phil. Being governor of Hawaii was wonderful and full of opportunities to let minorities and non christians know how they should be dead. Being governor of Moon also gave me a chance to get jobs for my family."

"This is my brother, Zombie Nugget Palin. I made him Wizard General. He really wanted to be Gun Magic King, but I had already given that job to...
 
...Uncle Not Gay Pony Palin. As Gun Magic King, Uncle takes long baths and writes songs about old black men who dance in jail. Uncle Not gay Pony once stabbed a women with a wooden penis! His son was given a very important governmental post...










....My cousin, Gonad Pocohantes! He became "Minister of Soapy and  Groceries"! As Minister of Soapy and Groceries, Gonad loiters at laundromats and A&Ps. He has been given the power to throw hot coffee    the face of anyone not wearing rosary beads around their necks!                                                             

This is my nephew, Lloyd Mongo. He is the new "General Alien and Varmint Maitre'd". Lloyd is in charge of killing and raping illegal aliens and other minorities with that little stick. He doesn't speak, but when he needs more Triscuits he will smash your head against a wall.

The last office was taken by my sister, Gloria Cocktosen. I made her "Grand Mistake Gun Larry". Gloria makes sure everyone in the state has a gun and is prepared to use it on unarmed negroids and chinamen. She likes music.

I hope you all enjoyed meeting my family! Maybe we will all be moving to Washington and the white house, soon! I wish to thank Sampson, the android, for interviewing me and for not being black! MMMMwaaah! That was a kiss!